The numbers are staggering.
One child in 68 goes on to develop this disease; it is more common in
boys. We do not know the cause and are
trying to find the best treatments but progress is slow. The largest misperception about autism is it
is NOT a behavior problem. It is not
something a parent has done wrong; there is no one to blame or judge.
Autism, in plain and simple terms is a communication and
interaction disorder. Think about that
for a few minutes. Imagine not being
able to communicate with your toddler and the frustration that entails. Think about the way a newborn cries, then consoles
in our arms, and smiles; that is interaction.
During that first year, so much communication goes on between a parent
and child. They push the spoon away when
they are full. They watch us clap, copy
us, and begin clapping themselves. Almost
nothing in the world was better than that first laugh or giggle. Then they wave, high five, and learn to “fist
bump.” On to their first words like hi, dada,
mama, and ball. Those single words at 15
months become short phrases by 2 years of age and then full on sentences by age
3. What if things do not progress that
way?
Let us go back to that 2 or 3 year old and flip our point of
view. Think about how hard it must be
for that toddler, who cannot get the person he depends upon, to understand his
needs. By 18 months of age, a child has a way of letting you know they are hungry,
wet, tired, or sick. They can even
convey their moods by crossing their arms and stomping their feet. Often, if a mother or father has a child with
autism, it can be impossible to know what they are thinking, feeling, or trying
to tell us. Maybe they are screaming in
public now because it involves more of those big people who do not communicate
with them and they feel overwhelmed. Can
you imagine being hungry, uncomfortable, or ill and not being able to get your
parent to understand?
I have watched many young autistic children in my office be
most comfortable on their mother’s back in a carrier and the moment they are
removed from that safe place, they literally fall apart. They are terrified when being examined or weighed
and measured. Their tiny beautiful faces
convey fear; however, children with
autism get ear infections, allergies, and the flu just like any other child yet
they cannot tell me what is wrong.
I do not know what it is like to have autism, nor do I have
experience raising an autistic child. Watching
these children grow and develop over the years becoming adolescents has been
interesting. Some develop their own way
of communicating, especially when I have been caring for them their entire
lives. One of my favorite patients is a
teenage girl with autism. Her and I have
never had a traditional conversation, but we definitely communicate. I look forward to seeing her name on my
schedule and she gets a huge grin on her face when I walk through the
door. She gives great hugs, ones that I
treasure. She knows me and has seen me for long enough
to understand that I will not harm her. We
trust each other.
On the other end of the spectrum, I have a teenage boy I
take care of, who pretty much hates me.
When I walk in the room, he scowls and tells me his life is miserable
and he detests coming to my office. He hates going to school even more, which
provides some consolation. I would not exactly say I look forward to his
visits, but do value and appreciate his honesty. He is communicating and trying
to interact; he is trying to make a connection in his own way.
Social skills at a party might not be a gift of children
with autism but they are often bright, capable and eager to learn. Some of my kids are now attending college and
moving toward adult careers. It is hard
to know what any one child will go on and do with their lives. I usually try to
ask myself “Is this a future artist, computer programmer, engineer, or
scientist who will find the cause of autism or possibly the cure?”
Most importantly, remember that a child diagnosed with a
communication disorder at 15-18 months has overcome numerous hurdles and
struggled with adversity many of us cannot comprehend. So have their parents. It just might change your perspective on
things when you realize how much children with autism have to offer the world.
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